A Short Story; Pow wow by Lani Elliott

I am in a community where I know no one except the people in the drum group I travel with. And yet as I sit here with my camera attempting to capture some beautiful images, I am struck by the sense of belonging I feel here.

I love everything about the powwow. I am fascinated by all the beautiful colors in each piece of regalia and can only hope that my camera can do it justice in its interpretation. I often wonder what people think when they see my photos. Did I photograph the right moment? Is there a story in the picture? Does anyone see what I saw?

I did not grow up with my own culture, and as a child I had no idea what I was missing. I grew up in foster care, and while I love my foster parents dearly, I always felt like an outsider in my community. I attended my very first powwow when I was 15 years old and, to be honest, do not recall much of it as my friends and I were too busy trying to find the party, completely oblivious to the sacredness of the ceremony and the respect it deserves.

As I grew older I became more and more curious about my roots. And yet when I attended ceremonies, I was unable to comprehend the wash of emotions that always threatened to overwhelm me. What was this? Was it possible for someone to feel such a deep melancholy and at the same time, an unexplainable joy?

I can remember the first time I watched, and I mean ‘really’ watched a grand entry. I was at SIFC Powwow and was standing near where the dancers would all enter the arena. I didn’t have a camera with me then, so was able to get the full scope of the scene before me, and I was completely mesmerized. And as I heard the announcer call in the dancers and allowed the sound of the drumbeat to envelope me, I started to cry, big giant tears unabashedly running down my face.

It was in that moment when I finally understood exactly what I had been missing out on my entire life. This was who I am. Everything that I saw before me spelled out a part of me that I never even knew existed and suddenly I was enlightened.

There is something so beautiful about the powwow, and it is not so easily captured through the camera lens. It is not just about the songs, the dancers and the regalia. It is the pride I see in the faces of all the participants, the smiles that are given so freely between the elders and the young, and the sense of family and community that is unmistakable. It is the connection that exists between the people, and in the sound of the drums, that same sound that we hear in the womb. It is the heartbeat of our mother, and as we dance with that beat beneath our feet, it is our own connection to mother earth.

I finally get it. This is where I am supposed to be…among this extended family on the powwow trail. And no matter where we are, we are home.

– Lani Elliot, RezX Contributing Editor