NDN Horoscopes

This is by far the most popular section in RezXSouth Magazine. It is written by Bill Stevenson, who has had some amazing visions just to come up with these horoscopes tailored specifically for you – enjoy!

JANUARY Kisê-pîsim – The Great Moon – Deer You gotta make a batch of fry bread soon! Make lots! You got family and friends to entertain soon so show them a good time, order a bucket of KFC, what ever you do just make sure and give them your best. But you always do that anyway, don’t ya? Lucky Casino this month: Bear Claw!

FEBRUARY Mikisiwi-pîsim – The Eagle Moon – Eagle It’s Fall! Get out and play some golf, go for a hike, camp, ride a horse (or a cowboy), go to a strange pow wow, but whatever you do get out of the house and enjoy the last of the sun. You know how short our summers are so don’t be afraid to disconnect from Facebook, or the Xbox360 – don’t worry, they’ll be there when you get back! Lucky Casino: Living Skies!

MARCH Niski-pîsim – The Goose Moon – Cougar Men in shorts sweating and grunting while groping each other might be your favorite viewing on television but being a UFC champ is going take so much more than learning the moves of a pro! Stop the Double Gulps and chips and get back to the gym, trust me – your pancreas will thank you. Lucky Casino: Casino Regina, East Wing, North wall, near the corner!

APRIL Ayikî-pîsim – The Frog Moon – Beaver Atee Ney! That’s still your Cousin! Leave them alone! Try your luck at the Painted Hand Casino instead!!!

MAY Sâkipakâwi-pîsim – The Budding Moon – Bear Go medicine picking, slow down and relax – you don’t always have to be on the go! Take a breath and enjoy a bit of life, talk to your elders, play with your kids, spend time with your sweetie and don’t feel bad for doing it! It’s good for you, feel that tension leave your body at the Dakota Dunes Casino!

JUNE Pâskâwihowi-pîsim – The Hatching Moon – ThunderbirdStill having problems with that old car eh? Maybe it’s time to move on, get a fresh start with a new beast – one that will actually be able to drive to the city and back without needing a tow! War ponies got old also and had to be put out to pasture, why not do the same thing for your baby, you know she’s served you well! For a possible financial boost consider a victory drive to the Northern Lights Casino and play the penny machines for a long time.

JULY Paskowi-Pîsim – The Moulting Moon – Coyote I see a vision quest coming your way! Four days of practicing self control, dealing with the mental anguish, physical exhaustion and long hours of denial… Oh wait… that’s just the in-laws coming for a visit… Try to get away and scoot over to the Golden Eagle Casino before they make you see red.

AUGUST Ohpahowi-pîsim – The Flying Up Moon – Mouse This is not the time to be a mouse, rise up and roar! Get your voice heard, fight for every opportunity to advance your cause and do not give up! Now, go get them, because you know you can! Once you’ve declared victory head on over to the Dakota Dunes Casino for some roulette and cover the spread.

SEPTEMBER Nôcihitowi-pîsim – The Mating Moon – Salmon Feeling ill? Consult a doctor and follow their directions perfectly because let’s face it, they know what’s wrong with you, how to cure it, and you don’t. Remember Kokum’s advice, ‘Better to be a pebble in the river of life than a stone swallowed by a goose’… Well maybe it loses something in translation, but listen to your doctor and stay away from casinos for a while!

OCTOBER Pinaskâwi-pîsim – The Migrating Moon – Turtle Feeling out of place? Are things happening to slow for your liking? Does everyone else seem to be in the groove and getting things done? Perhaps you’re out of your element. Turtles are free in water, fast and nimble able to avoid pit falls and predators with ease but feel slow and cumbersome on land – caught easily if they wander too far from their stream. Think about it at the Moose Jaw Casino this weekend!

NOVEMBER Iyikopiwi-pîsim – The Frost Moon – Wolf Back in the day your mushom used to hunt with just three bullets and a crooked shotgun, and you’re telling me you can’t even snare a rabbit? Boy you’re lucky your hunting grounds all have your meals in convenient packages in the cooler! Now might be a good time to learn how to scrimp and save for a rainy day, go hunting with the boys and share your spoils. The elders, they remember you when you do that and they bless you. Trust me, you want their blessings. Take some smokes with you to the Northern Lights Casino and share them freely, see what happens.

DECEMBER Pawâcakinasîsi-pîsim – The Frost Exploding Trees Moon – Spider Get a hobby! Bead, Paint, photography, tan hides, make canoes anything! There’s so much more to life than working all the time! What are you gonna tell that sweetie you meet when she asks you, ‘so what do you do for fun?’ The truth? You’ve been working and sleeping for the past three months! Stop it! Strong webs need more than your silk, expand your interests and find new skills to have fun with! You might enjoy it. Look for a bear of a partner while enjoying the Dakota Dunes Casino.

By Bill Stevenson